Movie Review: Friday the 13th (2009)
Friday the 13th (2009)–No Stars Don’t see this movie. There’s little reason to elaborate. But feel free to continue reading if you really want to know why you should skip this Friday the 13th. It’s an empty, unsatisfying motion picture experience, a movie so devoid of anything resembling entertainment it becomes unbearable before the halfway point. You see, most splatter films should be taken for what they are. This Friday the 13th can only be seen for what it’s not. It’s not campy fun. It’s not gory. It doesn’t have any decent scares, not even ones that are manufactured by the sound guy. No, there’s nothing here. The Michael Bay-produced, Marcus Nispel-directed Friday the 13th is a glossy, senior portrait of a Jason Voorhees movie when it should be, at most, a glamor shot. You know, something slightly silly,...
Read MoreMovie Review: …Around
…Around (2008) “You know the charming guy in the movie with obstacles and the entire world on his back. Walks a line between redemption and oblivion. Constant shit thrown at him. He always does a heroic thing and rises above it all with a great, witty line while he saves the girl and comes out on top unexpectedly… I’m the coyote who falls of the cliff.” — Doyle Simms “Embrace the fall.” Those are the first words you see on the screen when you watch “…Around,” a little NYC indie with a lot to say and a lead actor with enough charisma to make you want to hear it. The sage wisdom imparted on Doyle Simms is just what this guy with a me against the world attitude needs. It’s certainly uplifting to watch Doyle get back up after...
Read MoreMovie Review: Revolutionary Road
Revolutionary Road (2008)–**** What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore– And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode? I watched Sam Mendes’ American Beauty the day before I saw Revolutionary Road. When I popped in the DVD I thought it was a bad idea, watching a movie as near perfect as American Beauty before catching the new Mendes picture. Both films deal with the soul-crushing nature of homogeneous suburban life. Both films have an enviable cast of some of the best movie actors working under the direction of an actors’ director. How could you not have your view of Revolutionary Road obstructed by...
Read MoreQuickie: Gran Torino
Gran Torino (2008)–***1/2 Quickie Review Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski finds himself protecting the Asian family next door when a group of thugs seek revenge on the family’s only son, a young man who refused to join the gang. Clint Eastwood’s latest directorial effort, in which he also stars, is just as intensely emotional as (and perhaps even more perceptive than) Mystic River or Million Dollar Baby, even if it is less delicately packaged. Kowalski’s rough exterior is difficult to penetrate, but once we find a way in, we can’t help feeling that we are seeing a side of Kowalski–and Eastwood–that no one has never seen before. Another masterful movie and performance from a legendary actor turned American...
Read MoreQuickie: Towelhead
Towelhead (2008)–** Quickie Review Jasira, a 13-year-old girl of Lebanese descent, must deal with racism and conflicting messages about sex in suburban Texas. American Beauty writer Alan Ball’s feature directorial debut begins as a piercing, uncomfortable social commentary but devolves into a Bizzaro World after school special. Rarely funny and too badly acted to be dramatic, this so-called dark comedy needed someone with Todd Solondz’s sensibilities to make it both interesting and entertaining. Only Aaron Eckhart, in his role as the older neighbor who lusts after Jasira, finds the harmonic balance between funny and tragic. Also starring Peter Macdissi, Toni Collette, and Summer Bishil as...
Read MoreMovie Review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)–**** Zemeckis, an undisputed master of film technology, shows off an equal aptitude for vivid storytelling in bringing Winston Groom’s picaresque novel to screen. –Rita Kempley’s 1994 Washington Post review of Forrest Gump Seriously? I hated Forrest Gump. Hated, hated, hated Forrest Gump, as Roger Ebert would say. Every time I see the 1994 Best Picture winner on television, I dislike it even more. The notion of the story, the film’s saccharine sentimentality and the unbelievable protagonist, grate on my sensibilities as a moviegoer. And then there are the visual effects, which in those early days of computer technology killed my already challenged suspension of disbelief. Why mention this in a review of David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? Because if there was any film that succeeded exactly where Forrest Gump...
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