Casting Call: The Legend of Zelda Movie

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II will be released in May of 2011. The Hobbit, Part II is slated for 2012. Within the next 4 years, the window for glorious fantasy films as we have come to know them will likely close. This begs one question: Where is my The Legend of Zelda movie?

Now, I’m not a Legend of Zelda fanatic. I don’t come at this from a hardcore fanboy perspective. But I am impatient. I don’t want to wait for a genre Renaissance 20 or 30 years down the line to finally see a movie where Link rescues Zelda from the evil Gannon. Satoru Iwata, if you’re listening, it’s time to make this movie.

The people want it. The really want it. The IGN-produced April Fool’s Day trailer racked up millions of views on YouTube and other streaming video sites. Nintendo is sitting on a lucrative film franchise.

While you guys work out the backend deals with production companies and distributors, let me get you started with a little casting.

Link played by Jamie Bell

From what I know of the video game timeline, Link’s age is all over the map. Let’s settle for the young-looking 22-year-old Bell. He has action star chops, as we saw in Jumper and King Kong. More importantly though, he also has acting chops. If you want to wait to see how he does in the upcoming film Defiance, an action drama from Edward Zwick, I understand. You do have some time. Just resist the urge to cast Shia Labeouf.

Zelda played by Olivia Thirlby

Thirlby is a rising star in need of a high-profile gig. Last seen in David Gordon Green’s Snow Angels and before that as Juno MacGuff’s best friend in Juno, this 21-year-old actress fits in the age range established above. She’s also a smart actress, nabbing roles in indies that demonstrate a degree of range few young actresses have. Too contemporary? Maybe. Too intelligent seeming? Maybe. But she certainly has the face for the role.

Gannon played by Liam Neeson

Let’s assume you are going to go with human-ish Gannon and not the warthog looking thing. Let’s also assume you want an actor with the standing of Ian McKellan or Ralph Fiennes. And finally, let’s get someone who we KNOW can do evil. Ra’s al Ghul, anyone?

As the voice of Aslan in Narnia, Neeson already has a fantasy franchise with his name attached, but that franchise was killed in action upon the release of Prince Caspian. Chances are that most people won’t remember or didn’t know he was involved in Narnia anyway. He’s a big dude compared to Bell (and to me), standing around six-feet, four-inches tall. More than anything, I’d like the coolness he could bring to the role. He doesn’t have to breath fire, as we saw in Batman Begins, and he can still be menacing. Now picture him with green skin.

Right now, I’m open as far as directors go. Instead of saying who should direct the film, here are a few names that should be avoided:

• Brett Ratner
• Michael Bay
• Stephen Sommers
• Rob Cohen
• Bryan Singer
• Zack Snyder
• Sam Raimi
• Joe Johnston
• McG
• Gore Verbinski
• John Turteltaub
• Breck Eisner
• J.J. Abrams

Oh, hell. Just give it to Peter Jackson.